Family issues are a combination of the individual member issues of the family. Each member brings with them their own package of issues. When we look at families, we first sort out who brings in what issue. This is done by looking at the family of origin and the existing patterns. We are initially attracted to a partner because we recognize similar traits in each other; some are positive and some are negative traits. Sorting out these traits creates a healthy breathing space and disentangles each individual. Then we return the unwanted patterns back into the ancestral line.
How is your family life right now?
Craziness, chaos, the kids are crying, the partner screaming, we are late getting out the door. Everyday a new issue seems to be surfacing. The school calls for meetings, the kids get sick almost every month. Homework is getting more difficult to get done. TV has become the only time when there is some peace in the house, except when it comes to choosing the program then fighting over the remote controll arises. The family unit seems to be drifting further and further apart with arguments over parenting styles and getting everyone’s needs met.
How do we get cooperation?
Family dynamics grow over time and often settle into unwanted patterns that need careful examinations – – like peeling back the layers of an onion. Where did it all start? Even with good intentions we slip into modes that are not sustainable and healthy for a family. How do we turn these good intentions into positive actions and outcomes? Did you ever set any attentions and are you on track with them? If your approach did not bring the result you wanted did you try something else? Often our own upbringing does not help either, because dysfunctional parenting are not good role models to repeat. Looking at past patterns can bring clarity and opens the mind to new and successful solutions. Every member of a family wants to have fun and do the right thing, we just go about it in different ways. Synergy, common goals and cooperation needs to become the aim of the process.